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Absinthe Darkblade

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And now for a more serious post. [25 Nov 2004|02:23pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

While we all lubs my quiz spam, I should write a serious entry in this here blog. I haven't been feeling too fab these past few days, except for finally getting to see Vampire Clan. In the words of Jerry in House of 1000 Corpses "That was so Badass. \m/ Doctor Satan, yeah Doctor Satan \m/ It was so good I watched it twice, well, two and a bit times really. Anyway, Nathan and I were going to watch it at my sister's house but then his stalker rang and started hitting on me then saying that I was cutting his grass (in other words, trying to hit on Nathan) Most of it was funny until he called me his "pawn" I don't know that I have ever been more offended. Oh wait, when he said I wasn't Goth. The guy wears orange for fuck's sake. He said some shit about how he's goth because he listens to Dark Throne and Cradle of Filth. Look, I admit, I love COF, I do. Other than maybe Theatre des Vampires, they're one of the best Vampiric metal acts I've ever heard.But just because you like stuff like Cradle of Filth and Dark Throne, doesn't make you goth. A black metaller perhaps but not Goth. I'm not trying to be the Goth Gestapo but he pissed me off. How does he know I'm not a goh. So I don't wear make up everyday. I don't feel that it has any bearing on how "Goth" I am. Grrrr.
Back to not feeling so great. I was sitting in the Food Court near Casa Della (is that it?) In Frankston with Nathan and a few others (although they barely acknowledged our existence except maybe Cheska and her boyfriend Luke) seriously depressed (I almost cried) because of all the stuff I have to deal with. At least the large scale stuff. It just felt like everything was so trivial in comparison to what I was thinking about. Don't worry, I wasn't suicidal, just depressed. Anyway, if you are the third (and you know exactly what is meant by that hopefully) and you happen to be reading this, please write a message and I will definitely get back to you.
Anyway. Started writing the story for my comic book. I feel weird writing sex scenes but what would vampyr stories be without a little sex? I don't know, all I know is that I write them and in my head they seem like a great idea but on paper they just make me feel odd, almost like I've just written porn and I don't want it to be like that. It seems to be the way for most things that go on, I mean, I can't speak to people most of the time because what seems perfect in my head sounds really fucking dumb when I say it. It's annoying. I can't write romantic things. They just come out seeming completely contrived. Not that it matters, I've lost my talent for drawing lately. Every time I pick up a pencil to draw something gets in the way. I feel so uncreative and it makes me kind of sad. I was thinking about doing a painting for my mum but I don't know that I can and she's starting to piss me off. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death but it's like nothing I do is good enough and she doesn't understand the things I'm going through. I know everyone says that at some point but seriously. She claims to understand me being a vampyr but clearly she just doesn't get it. Lately I've been sleeping really late after going to bed at like four in the morning because I'm genuinely not tired til around then and even then I barely sleep, in between psychic attacks and various other occurences keeping me up. I've had to think about my path. I mean imagine being told hat you're going to be one of the most important and powerful beings in the world within a year to two years? It does a person's head in and half the time, I can't sleep. Then there's my constant paranoia that someone will come into my room in the middle of the night and hack me into little pieces. Silly paranoid delusions, yes but even still, they aren't really fodder for sleep, are they?
I'm sick of my sister lying all the time and about the most inane shit. According to her, my father wants to mend our relationship so I said to her that she had to tell him if he was really serious about it, he has to make the attempt. She told me she told him that when she hadn't. She could have told me the truth. I mean, what is it with people lying to me? I am so sick of it. Mum thinks I'm overreacting but everybody does it and I don't want to have to not talk to people for fear that they're lying to me. I mean, it's enough that I'm agoraphobic without that. Does make me wonder though, how far does this thing go? People and their compulsion to lie to me I mean. Doesn't anyone get it? YOU CAN'T LIE TO ME, I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE LYING BECAUSE I CAN FEEL IT. Why even try, honestly? *sigh* I'm getting to the point where I'm just getting sick of everything and everyone. I mean, I'm ready to rip Brad's throat out but then there's a part of me that doesn't care what happens with him and my sister anymore. I guess I'm more apathetic than I used to be. I used to have the highest respect for life but look what you all do to what's given to you. Maybe that's harsh but it needs to be said. If you don't like it, too bad. Let it hurt then move on, there are too many other important things to think about than something I've said.
Sorry about all the griping. I've been holding it back for a few weeks now and I feel better now that it's out...
Tee Hee, crazy people are funny, sorry, thinking about the making of Vampire Clan. I think Drew Fuller may be a little bit insane. But that's okay. He's still gorgeous. SHUT UP, I know I'm obsessed.
Anyway, I have a headache now, I'm going to leave it at that.

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[25 Nov 2004|12:42pm]
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Just various musings. They probably don't make sense but when does anything [09 Nov 2004|01:10pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

The state of goth/hard rock at the moment (with exception of HIM) is getting kind of crappy. First we have Marilyn Manson's horrendous cover of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus. Then we have A Perfect Circle's just as horrendous cover of Imagine. Look, come up with your own stuff (or in the case of Marilyn Manson, just give up) Seriously. It's sad that I should lose so much respect for some of the bands I admire most.
I am so in love with Cradle of Filth at the moment. I taped the clip for Nymphetamine, it's so pretty and I don't care what people say, Dani is also very pretty. It's sad that Sarah is leaving them but oh well. Still waiting on Theatre des Vampires, I hope it's worth it. Also, I love Dresden Dolls; their music is so manic, so twisted, I love them to pieces.
My sister and her partner came over to show off their tattoos... I'm sorry but they suck. Now, don't get me wrong. I am a great lover of body art but a skull and moon with a tribal symbol that could mean just about anything and a silly little eagle that looks like two birds having sex from a distance (I shit you not friends) do not good tattoos make. I'm pretty sure I want to get an eye of Amun Ra on my right wrist on my 20th then I want to get a Sanguine Ankh on my left arm (not that I am part of the Sanguinarium but it is a pretty ankh and being that I am a vampyr, it makes sense.) a chaos star and only a very, VERY select few know why. Actually only three people. I also want to get a pentacle that has a little picture in each part representing the elements.
I know I keep going on about it but it's my journal SO BACK OFF. I am getting sick of the mediums in which I must communicate with my soulmate. It's all well and good once in a while but the dilemma here is, I have work to do. There are those who need me so I cannot always spend my time talking to them when other people are trying to get through. It makes me think I'm losing my mind and at this point in time I need my sanity. Thanks though for the uber creepy little hints, they're super.
Is it just me or should men wear skirts, dresses and corsets more often? Sorry, still drooling over Dani Filth. The dress (I think it was a dress, please correct me if I am wrong) he wears in the Nymphetamine video is to die for but then again, we are talking Dani Filth.
Now, for people outing celebrities or anyone for that matter (Yeah, you know who you are) STOP IT. If they choose to be open about it, it's up to them but just because you suspect is no reason to blurt it out. It's just careless and rude.
Anyway, that's enough from me.

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[03 Nov 2004|11:40am]
[ mood | mischievous ]

I felt like changing my icon because as foxy as that picture of Drew Fuller is (it's currently my wallpaper on my computer. I can't stop staring at it, it's so hypnotic) Anyway, if you're wondering about the thing written. It's the end of Funeral in Carpathia by Cradle of Filth. I've gone a little mad on vampiric metal at the moment although I'm still waiting for Nathan to burn Theatre Des Vampires for me.
My future brother in law is a cunt. He and my sister and my creepy, creepy niece (I'll get to that)come over to my house just as I roll out of bed. This wasn't a problem for me. They were going to stay for tea, still, not a problem. Not to air other people's dirty laundry or whatever the fuck but Brad was cut because Jasmin got a little annoyed at his mother for picking up my niece after Jasmin had put her down so they could go home. Anyway, Brad's mum says something to the extent of I'm her Grandmother and I'll pick her up when I want to. Look, so she's the grandmother, big fucking deal. Getting back to the topic at hand, Jasmin and Brad are sitting on the couch in my loungeroom when his brother rings talking about how he doesn't want Jasmin to cause trouble at his wedding and what have you. Jasmin says "fine, I just won't go" then Brad cracks the sads and drives off, leaving Jasmin distraught. I wasn't impressed. Then, knowing my general dislike of babies, mum gives me Melinda and tells me to go inside. She's screaming her head off and I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do. You would think that alone would make me angry... Not so friends. Mum rings him to see if he's coming back and he says "I'm going to my grandmother's to sort this out. If she (Jasmin) can't get alone with my family and they can't get along with her, it's over." Now, correct me if I'm wrong but if you're supposedly in love with someone, enough to have a child with them, you should be able to tell your parents, or anyone for that matter, to fuck off when they are interferring. I know I would. And here my friends is where it ultimately gets worse. He thinks she has post natal depression and wants HER to get counselling. I swear I wish I were a man so I could beat him up. Hell, I just wish I could beat him up, with a crowbar maybe. Hell, anything. If it cause blood to spill, I want it. I had reserved judgment of Brad before but now that I have a better impression, I have to say, he's not really that impressive. He's a bogan for one. (Why is it that she always picks the bogans?) He treats her like crap. He has moments where he's nice to her but for the most part, he's a stupid mummy's boy who needs to grow up.
As for other things. I found my soulmate... sort of. Like everything else in life, it's complicated. Suffice to say I know who they are now and I'm not telling so fuck off. Anyway, that's it for now. I'll probably be back later. but until then. Adios.

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It's been a while but I finally have something to write about [15 Oct 2004|10:48am]
[ mood | creative ]

I know I've been away for a few months, part of it is because I've had 2/5 of fuck all to write about and lately because my sister was having her baby. Nathan and I were wrong about it being a boy though. Allow me to be gushy for a minute, since, you know, I'm an aunt now. My niece's name is Melinda Jade (or Jayde, I'm not sure how they decided to spell it) Anyway, she's a big baby (which, all things considered, doesn't come as a big surprise) and what's more, she hates my father which is funny.
As for me, I haven't been out much because my sister's been in labour and I had to wait for my mum to call me to tell me that she had the baby. I did go to the city about a fortnight ago though with Nathan and Liz and looked around, btw for those reading this in another country, if you're goth and ever travel to this fair city, I highly suggest you drop in at Gown of Thorns. I almost died when I saw one of the PVC coats they had, it was exactly like one I drew once. It was so pretty. We also figured out that I am much more morbid than Nathan. I know that sounds silly but I am.
I have a new obsession at the moment (other than Drew Fuller and HIM, look, shut up, Drew and Ville Valo are both foxes). I think I love Pocky and Bubble Cup. I know it's probably the most ungoth thing I could say but you know what, I don't care because I like them.
I fixed the sound on my computer so I've been watching all my VCDs, mostly House of 1000 Corpses, man I love that movie.

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[06 Aug 2004|01:54pm]
Nihilist Bear
Nihilist Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah, that's pretty true. Made me laugh

img src="http://images.quizilla.com/T/teffie/1036281989_CStephanieswearfuck.gif" border="0" alt="fuck">
your fuck.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[15 Jul 2004|03:29pm]
Read more...Collapse ) Sorry, experimenting with LJ Cut
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[16 Jun 2004|06:04pm]
[ mood | cold ]

img src="http://images.quizilla.com/D/darkdesire/1035664633_testmaster.jpg" border="0" alt="master">
You are a Master


Sweet and submissive or Hard and Dominant?
brought to you by Quizilla


What will God say to you when you die?
Name
Age
Religion
You will say: Hey dude! what's with all the ugly chicks?
He will say: Oh no you ain't gettin in here!
How much do you deserve to be in heaven? - 49%
This cool quiz by megalomein - Taken 8180 Times.
</a>
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology



French Guard
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous
accent, you silly king-a?!


What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Cunt of the week. [31 May 2004|11:11am]
[ mood | thirsty ]

Will. He lied to mum and I an I'm none too happy about it. Now the little twat is avoiding us, making the situation worse for himself because I haven't had the chance to tell him what I think and now instead of handling things calmly, coolly, entirely without incident (I'm in an Equilibrium type mood, so kill me) Instead there will be yelling (from me) and crying(most likely from him)and maybe bloodshed. It's not like he's a vampyr, I don't have so much to worry about if I rip out his throat because I won't lose energy from it. There are of course the legal and moral ramifications but it would make me feel better.
I had a really stange dream a couple of days ago about Keanu and Drew Fuller; The guy who plays Chris on Charmed... All I can say is, who needs porn when I think up weird shit like that. It was an interesting dream none the less, all the bloodletting and stuff like that... I shouldn't let my thirst get to me.

AAwesome
_
DDignified
AAppreciative
RRadical
KKeen
BBright
LLuscious
AAstounding
DDainty
EEntertaining

Name / Username:


Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Dainty, fucking dainty, what the shit is that?
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[21 May 2004|11:03am]
img src="http://images.quizilla.com/L/littlelilly/1078118798_tchasketch.jpg" border="0" alt="etchasketch">
You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Raven Wormwood. [21 May 2004|10:29am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Raven,
Why do you taunt me so? Why is it that I think about you constantly and yet, have no real idea of who you are? While this annoys me slightly, I realise and understand that it isn't time yet.
Still doesn't stop me from thinking about it though.

This whole Julie thing has being weighing heavily on my mind. I won't go into detail but suffice to say I'm not proud of what I did but it had to be done. My only fear is that it will turn me into a cold hearted bitch, even then, that's not really such a big problem either. I don't know, the whole thing made me feel dirty.

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Cunt of the week: moorekatie... some nut who posts on the Keanu imdb board [10 May 2004|12:27pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

moorekatie:
You are one sick girl, seriously, you need psychiatric help. I just got through reading your site; such as it is and all I have to say is, are you serious? You have some crap on there about Keanu's agent being gay, his other sister Karina being a lesbian and what have you. Who fucking cares if they are? Honestly. I'm sorry but you are a fucking nut.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have my theories about Keanu and I am trying to back them up; so far I've done pretty well actually, but considering the nature of what it is I believe I don't expect people to believe me no matter how much evidence I give them, it's just one of those things. Then again I'm not saying weird arse s*** about somethng I really can't back up and when did it become your place to tell everybody "the truth about Keanu Reeves". Honey, save it and take your medication.

Aside from this giving me the shits.
Marcus:
If you don't leave me alone and stop attacking me I will be forced to take serious measures. I have done nothing to you and if you keep it up I just might. Consider it a warning. If you think I am joking, just try me. My patience has worn thin with the constant attacks. So I dumped you because I choose not to associate with daemons and because you're an obsessive, controlling fuckbucket... BIG FUCKING DEAL.
So, for the last time LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE or consider leaving the planet.

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Life and its many quirks. [19 Apr 2004|01:17pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

I saw Rhiannon on Friday when I went shopping with Will. She told me that no one is talking to Erin and Jason because they won't shut up about each other. I almost cacked myself laughing because they're getting what they deserve. It's ironic that they can hate me for being different (as you all know I'm a vampyr)and yet they are social pariahs because they don't know when to shut up. Ahh, life... she is screwy no.
I've been on a KMFDM/H.R Giger/Evil Dead kick of late. It's making me feel creative so I'm just going with it.
The new cover for my comic book kicks motherfucking arse but I've slacked off a lot in the past few weeks, hadn't been inspired enough I guess but now I have an overabundance of inspiration. DAMN YOU MUSE. *SHAKES FIST AT THE MUSE WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS.* Only there when I don't need inspiration.
Having Will live with me's still fun. We were play fighting on Friday and I blocked him with my shin and now I have a huge bruise. It hurt but I laughed, it was funny, painful but funny.

"I may be bad, but I feel gooooood." Evil Sheila: Army of Darkness

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[02 Apr 2004|12:41pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgemental.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people?s standards.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
W -You like your privacy .
X - You never let people tell you what to do .
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z - You're always fighting with someone.


L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
E - You are a very exciting person.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
H - You are not judgemental.

M - Success comes easily to you.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R - You are a social butterfly.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
E - You are a very exciting person.


A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
S - You are very broad-minded.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
H - You are not judgemental.
E - You are a very exciting person.

D - You have trouble trusting people.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R - You are a social butterfly.
K - You like to try new things.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.

Oddly enough, that's sort of true

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[01 Apr 2004|06:18pm]
Your Job in the Matrix by nescienx
LJ name
Favourite number
Favourite character
Your jobwas abandoned to shag The One
Number of people freed since you started working99
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!


You better recognise.
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[01 Apr 2004|05:44pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Well, my lovely little graphic novel is getting underway, so far it looks pretty cool and people have already expressed interest in reading it when it is finished, but then again, who doesn't like comic books about vampyr assassins?
Working on my metal scream, it, for whatever reason sounds like a cross between Morgan Lander from Kittie and Dani Filth which ain't all bad. It's weird how much metal I've been listening to of late and the sheer brutality of it. I mean 6 months ago I would have said, "Strapping Young Lad are a little too brutal for me" but now is different.
My mouth keeps hurting from the teething so mum's getting me a teething ring (oh, for those of you who know; my fangs are growing in.)I've been really weak and spaced lately, like I'm about to OBE but it's constant.
I can't believe they're pushing back Constantine to 2005 but on the upside I did have a dream that Keanu would win an oscar (finally) in 2006 so who knows. I saw a picture of him at ShoWest full of fangy goodness... mmm, fangs....... *wipes drool* Okay, enough fangirlness for now.
I really wish people wouldn't tweek their partner's nipples in public. Some things should stay in the bedroom.

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Ahh little Journal, how I have neglected you. [16 Mar 2004|06:16pm]
Sorry, I've been really busy. Art, people moving in to my house (it's otay, it's only Will) I've just been all over the place. I will write one day, promise.
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See, I'm a nutter [02 Mar 2004|05:01pm]
DisorderRating
Paranoid:High
Schizoid:High
Schizotypal:High
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Low
Narcissistic:Low
Avoidant:High
Dependent:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

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[27 Feb 2004|04:47pm]



Take that in any form you'd like. You could be a DJ, you could paint, you could write, you could even code. Still, you hold whatever you do as Art. You are passionate, and you can also try too hard.


What kind of goth are you?

Created by ptocheia



stone heart
Heart of Stone


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

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I swear it all just keeps getting weirder and weirder [27 Feb 2004|11:51am]
[ mood | confused ]

A lot of things have been changing in the world of vampyrs, physical changes that I won't go into, the odd thing is that thus far everything I have dreamt has come to pass. If everything does I am going to have the biggest fucking freak out of my life. It's all so fucking screwy... And now, it's time for some meme fun

How Kinky Are You? by dlkereluk
Name
Sex
Date of birth
Romps per week6
Kinkiness of your romps-20 makes you a pervert!9
Number of Children That You Will Have10
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!


You Celebrity Whore by poolofjello
Username (no caps)
You will mess around withMatthew Lillard
You will have sexTwice in one night
He will like it when youKiss him sweetly
You will get lucky onApril 6, 2008
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!


Not bad if I do say so myself
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